1.  Today's SMS : Teacher: Pappu if 2 & 2 is 4, how much is 4 & 4?
Pappu: That`s not fair. You always do the easy ones and leave the hard ones for me
2.     Hindi SMS : संता: मेरी पत्नी का क्रेडिट कार्ड चोरी हो गया है!
बंता: क्या आपने इसके बारे में बैंक को सूचना दी?
संता: मैंने इसकी जरुरत नहीं समझी क्योंकि चोर उससे उतना क्रेडिट नहीं लेगा जितना मेरी पत्नी लेती है!
3.    Banta: When I get mad at u, u never fight back. How do u control ur anger?
Preeto: I clean the toilet.
Banta: How does that help?
Preeto: I use ur toothbrush.
4.      Santa: Woh ladki kitni sundar hai!
Banta: Mujhe uska naam pata hai.
Santa: Kya naam hai uska?
Banta: Woh bank mein kaam karti hai, uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha "CHAALU KHAATA" 

5       Santa ki shaadi ek nurse se ho gayi. Banta: Aur santa, kaisi nibh rahi hai? Santa: Pooch mat yaar, jab tak sister na kaho, bolti hi nahi.

Hindi SMS, 164 6       Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho? Santa: Suicide karne ke liye Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai? Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye 7.................................................................. Girl: Will u marry me? Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai. Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se 8....................................................................... Ek baar Santa Gangubai ke ghar jaata hai aur darwaza knock karta hai. Gangubai: Kaun ? Santa: Main ! Gangubai: Main kaun? Santa: Tu Gangubai 9................................................................................................ Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA 10...................................................................................... Nurse came out with the newborn kid, Santa rushed 2 her & after seeing the kid he shouted, BETA hua BETA. She slapped him: Leave my finger, u fool, It’s a gal 11............................................................................................... Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya? Banta: Apple khane. Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai. Banta: Pata hai, apple saath laya hoon. 12.................................................................................................... Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call. Santa: Who r u? Girl: Seeta here. Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya. 13...................................................................................................... Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped - paudhe thay, Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudhon ko pani dal. Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai. Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal. 14.......................................................................................................... Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho? Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aaya hai. 15.......................................................................................................... Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye. Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai. 16......................................................................................................... Pappu was writing his father's name on a 1000 Watt bulb. Santa asked him: What are you doing? Pappu: Aapka naam roshan kar raha hoon. 17......................................................................................................... Santa to Pappu: Where's Sukhna Lake? Pappu: Pata nahi. Santa: Kabhi ghar se bhi nikla karo. Pappu: Who's Banta? Santa: Pata nai. Pappu: Kabhi ghar me bhi raha karo. 18.................................................................................................. Santa: Do you know English? Banta: Yes Santa: Ok! Then tell what is the opposite of NAAG PANCHAMI? Banta: So simple Yaar... NAAG DO NOT PUNCH ME. 19................................................................................................ Santa apni GF ko  I love u kehta aur gir jata. Girl: Yeh kya kar rahe ho? Santa : I am falling in love. 20........................................................................................................... Lady doctor: tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar aurto ko kyon ghurte ho? Santa: ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai "aurton ko dekhne ka samay subah 10 se 12". 21....................................................................................................... Masterji: kal school kyu nahi aaya. Santa: Gir gaya tha or lag gayi. Masterji: kahan gire, kahan lagi? Santa: Takiye pe gira tha aur AANKH lag gayi.. 22......................................................................................................... Santa & banta sending sms 2 their gfs. Santa:mai tere mobile se apni gf ko sms bheju dekhte hain kya kahti hai? Banta: No, agar usne handwriting pehchan li to...? 23............................................................................................................ Santa's urine report got exchanged with a ladies pregnancy report. Dr. told santa, "you are pregnant". Angry santa shouts at wife, "Maine pehle hi kaha tha, mujhe upar rehne de". 24............................................................................................................ Santa (on phone): Maa, khushkhabri hai! Maa: Bolo beta. Santa: Hum, 2 se 3 ho gaye. Maa: Badhai ho, ladka hua ya ladki. Santa: Na ladka, na ladki. Maine doosri shaadi karli. 25..................................................................................................... Santa was inserting dog's tail into pipe. Banta: Oye, kutte ki dum kabhi seedhi nahi hoti. Santa: Idiot, main to pipe bend kar raha hoon. 26............................................................................................................. Santa: "Kitna padhey likhe(qualified) ho?" Banta: "B.A." Santa: "Saala, 2 akshar padha, woh bhi ulta?" 27............................................................................................................ Santa: Bhaisahab time kya hua? Man: Sham ke 6 baje hain! Santa: Sala, subah se pooch raha hoon, sab alag alag time bata rahe hain. 28..................................................................................................... Jab dosti ki dastan waqt sunayega, Tumko bhi koi shaks yaad ayega, Tab bhool jayenge zindgi ke gam ko, Jab apke sath guzara samay yaad ayega. 29....................................................................................................... A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai? Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja... 30.............................................................................................. Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai. Santa: Hai. Frog: Nahin hai. Santa: Hai. Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well. Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.? 31................................................................................ Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao. Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta? 32............................................................................................ Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the. Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin. 33............................................................................ Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye. Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga! 34....................................................................................... What's Ford? Santa: Gaadi. What's Oxford? Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi. 35.................................................................................. Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? " A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao." 36..................................................................................... Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? " A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao." 37........................................................................ Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg? O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!

 

I AM COOOOOOLL BOLE TO BINDAAAAS

 ANAND KUMAR  BOLE TO BINDAS ADMI